Martha doesn't live here, but she is welcome anytime!

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” - Anna Quindlen

I have been thinking a lot about perfection lately....

One undeniable truth is that Perfection is subjective. I am a perfectionist- but what I believe to be "perfect" and what, say, my mother in law feels to be "perfect" can be two very different things.

Perfection is subjective because it relies heavily on how one views their priorities. My husband who is a perfectionist when it comes to school (he has a 4.0 in grad school) is clearly not a perfectionist when it comes to hanging Christmas lights out doors. (he thought the mix of lights was perfect....I found them a bit awkward).

I know that,very often, my expectations are not realistic. But when things are "just so"- well, I get a lot of satisfaction out of that. And conversely, when things aren't "just so", my tendancy is to feel discomfort until I can fix it (or get Simon to fix it!)

It makes me come across as very controlling and very self righteous and I do not like being perceived that way, but I have done some experimentation recently with not speaking my mind or stating my preferences..(with telling myself that something is little and it doesn't matter, when it realy does)...and, well,....this doesn't seem to work for me. The stress that I think I am saving is not going anywhere...it is just building and building.

Any ideas for combating perfectionism? Is it really such a bad thing?